The Relapse

The great thing about time, is that you forget.  You forget the sounds, the actions, all of it, until it comes back.   This particular day in November started the same as most days, the mad rush in the morning to get the kids to daycare, and us off to work.  My morning had two back to back meetings, which I always take my phone, this particular morning I didn't.   I got back to my office, and my phone had blown up.  Sadie's school had called multiple times, as did Blair.  I quickly called him back, as I dreaded hearing the words, "Sadie had a seizure at school." I needed to get home.  A great work friend, rushed me home.  It was really strange.  Sadie was up and around and seemed ok when I got home.  I read the note from the school, and we thought maybe they got it wrong, maybe it wasn't a seizure.  The details in the note seemed very accurate and in my heart I think I knew that that is what it was. That night we put her in with me, and she had one in bed with me through the night. It was like before full blown, tonic clonic seizure; arms, legs shaking, short in time, eyes rolling back and open, blue lips. The next day was tough, it was confirmed we were seeing seizures.  The next few days she had them sporadically through the nights.  We were trying to work, manage her going to school or not.  We were heading into the weekend, and Blair and I flying to TO to be part of our nephew's christeninig.  Through the night, she had one, and ten minutes before my mom came to watch her she had another.  Problaby the worst feeling in the enitre world to leave her.  The next week things continued to get progressively worse.  We were back to seeing seizures every 3 hours.  The one day it got really bad,  I was home with her.  Blair was away, and  I was ok knowing she would be sleeping them off.  That morning they were happening pretty regularly, and I gave her adivan, her rescue med around 9am, thinking it wuold help settle things for the day.  Emilia was due to come home from the sitter by 5 so I thought I would try and tub Sadie while she was awake, and still on adivan. I got everything all ready, and got her in the tub, and felt her stiffen into a seizure while in the tub.  I grabbed her with all my might, and lifted her 50 pounds soaking wet out of the tub, onto the bath mat until she stopped shaking.  I sat on the floor beside her, wrapped her in a towel and started bawling.  Crying for her, and feeling so frustrated, helpless, mad, and upset.  I grabbed my phone and called the IWK, I need help at this point, and some guidance.  The plan was to take her to Truro Hosptial and get them to call the IWK, get an abulance, and get her in. I texted some great neighbors who came over, to help me get her off the floor and dressed.  I remember sitting in the abulance as we rode in, and it all came flooding back. 48 hours, 30 seizures later.  So we were back.  I think that is the realization we came to terms with this time around, that this is how her Epilepsy is going to be.  We are going to have peaks and valleys, and we just have to help manage them with her.  It was different this time around for a few different reasons, one she is older, and stronger and can fight back a bit more now.  Also Emilia is old enough to know what is going on.  She was a baby at the start of this, and never really knew any of this.  We tried to shelter her from the seizures, until Sadie had one on the couch beside her, so then you educate. This spell was around 3 weeks, with a lot of seizures, and meds, and med adjustments.  We also had the first trip to emerge from a seizure fall.  She was in front of me, and  I couldn't get to her on time in the hall, she fell having a seizure, ans split her chin on the trim as she fell. Another trip to emerge and 3 stiches later. Honestly a brutal 3 weeks, but we have to just roll with this.  One thing is I know, the Sadie is honestly and truly my inspiration.  She has been so tough, and brave, and just handles all of this with positivity, and an amazing interstrength.  This week her school raved about how great she has been doing, and totally engaged in her work. Less than 4 weeks ago from today we were in a hosptial bed.  Team Rhyno picked up where we left off with this.  Blair and I managing this as a team with our girls. We had a lot of amazing support from my parents, as they are helping with Em, and just being there for us.   This was our bump in the road and we know now, we can handle it, Sadie can handle it, and we can move past it.